Morning ceremony — this encore life

Well, 5 a.m. came pretty quickly, but I dressed with excitement. Ironically after all the fuss and care to find the correct attire and worry about accessories, shoes, etc., the fact the pension did not supply hair dryers really put a kink into things--had to make do with my flat iron. In the end, I really didn’t care what I wore, how I looked. The day's focus was on Tak and Alex.

The vans rolled up in front of Tak’s farm, lit in the morning glow by vertical batons of light. The sun hadn’t risen yet, and we stepped into a farm area prepared for the festivities to come--tents, flowers, aromas of cooking food.

The groom had dressed in traditional Thai wedding attire (he’d actually had a “dresser” come to the pension to help him navigate the thing), and eventually the bride, the glistening image of Tak, emerged in what I learned would be the first of two outfits for the morning ceremony. I also learned that the morning was actually comprised of two separate and distinct ceremonies--the first was the blessing by the monks, followed later by a less formal family ceremony.

Meeting Tak’s parents, as well as her aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, was a joy-filled, poignant moment. We couldn’t speak the same language, but the hugs and the smiles validated that we shared the same wish for Alex and Tak: happiness and fulfillment in a life well lived. Their warmth and genuine welcome were humbling; the sharing of their home and happiness with us crazy Americans was a delight.

Each of the groom’s guests were shown a table festooned with varied food and ornamental items. We were instructed as to what to carry later in the morning as we would follow the drums into Tak’s home and offer our gifts of food and other things her family. And it would be at this point that Alex would have to be scrutinized by Tak’s friends to see if he was a “worthy” groom. He would have to pass seven levels of questioning or performance--like singing a song and dancing.

Ceremonial food/items the groom's family is to present

As the sun rose, the bride and groom posed for photos. My prayer was (and is) that each day as the sun rises, their marriage and their lives will be blessed.

Nine monks, barefoot and dressed in orange, arrived, and the ritual ceremony began. We all sat in chairs opposite the row of monks, Gifts of food, drink and supplies were brought to the monks and set before them. These were then removed so the ceremony and blessing, complete with chanting, could begin.

But before the chanting began, the monks had unrolled a small ball of string or twine and passed it down their row, so the thumbs of their prayerfully placed hands held the string. Thus the string “tied” or linked them all together.

A cantor chanted, and then the monks themselves, sitting cross-legged on a raised dais, then began their chant. Out of respect, I didn’t photograph this portion of the morning, but the melodic, rhythmic chant lasted nearly 30 minutes, with the cantor occasionally adding his own chant.

After the blessing, the string the monks had unfurled was cut, and a portion of it was used to tie together two crowns (white, bead-like) given to Tak and Alex to wear--thus linking the two of them with the blessing the monks had given. Then nine of us presented each of the monks with flowers, and we all were given blessings and sprinkled with water shaken from reeds dipped in water.

The ritual blessing concluded, the monks slipped off the dais and walked out to tables under tents in the yard for their morning breakfast--this included some of the food brought to them earlier. They ate alone, as is customary, and only following their departure, did the rest of the guests eat.

The monks eating alone after the blessing

So at 8 am we breakfasted on chicken with green chilis, pork, rice, chicken wings, and drank soft drinks, beer and water. Amazing. More from the village arrived, and eventually nearly 150 or so enjoyed a morning meal, most gussied up for the occasion.

As the feast was winding down, we heard percussion--faint at first. The drum ceremony. A joyful, colorful mix of young and old, male and female slowly processed down the road and into Tak’s gravel path. Townspeople joined in dancing to the rhythmic beat. Thus began the traditional ritual of the groom’s friends and family’s bringing gifts to the bride's family.

Villagers and dancers came to fetch the groom's family for the procession

We gathered up the items and food we’d been coached about and walked next door to Tak’s relatives' home. Then with the drums and village members leading the way, we sashayed down the road and onto the gravel path leading to Tak’s house. Alex was at the head of the pack, and then came Dan and Irene, with the rest following.

Dancing villagers, then the drums--then we followed behind

Uploaded by Jane Johnson on 2017-03-15.

We brought fruit, sweets and more.  I carried a cooked chicken (head intact) and a bottle of beer. — We brought fruit, sweets and more. I carried a cooked chicken (head intact) and a bottle of beer.

The local gal to my right grabbed the beer to carry.  We were a motley crew — The local gal to my right grabbed the beer to carry. We were a motley crew

The cooked chicken I carried.  Love the attached head — The cooked chicken I carried. Love the attached head

The festive rhythm moved us right along, and eventually Alex (with us, his entourage) was halted at Tak’s door and asked his crazy questions. Only after answering to the approval of the questioner, did Alex move on the the next level--he had to complete 7 levels. It took awhile, and he did need help from some friends, but eventually Alex “passed,” and was allowed to enter the ceremonial area.

During the procession Tak had been out of sight. The groom’s parents, the bride’s parents, and various other relatives entered the ceremonial area and sat on the dais once occupied by the monks. Tak's family seemed to be on the cusp of giving their approval and blessing for the marriage, indicated by cash and gifts placed on the floor in front of them.

Tak's parents on the right, her aunt and uncle (I think) in the middle, Irene and Dan (off camera)

At this point Alex was told to search for Tak. After a brief hunt, he found her, and they entered the ceremonial area and sat on the floor. Tak had changed into another exquisite dress, and again, her makeup and hair were done to perfection.

After finding Tak, Alex removes his shoes while Tak enters in another gorgeous dress

Parents and relatives gave their approval. Rings were exchanged, and then came the time of blessing from family and friends.

This blessing portion of the ceremony was a tender time for me, as I felt the absence of Pete so profoundly. I was Alex’s godmother here witnessing his marriage to Tak, but missing was my hubby Pete, Alex’s godfather, who'd passed away last August. I felt a chasm open before me and my heart ached.

During the blessing, Alex and Tak sat in ceremonial chairs with the linked crowns on their heads. They held their hands in front of them, palms together. Then wedding guests were given a bit of water to drizzle over their hands. I assume this was a time to pass on a blessing or prayer. The water poured through their hands into flowers beneath them.

Ready to receive blessings from the villagers and family.  The vessel on the left held water--this we drizzled over their hands as we offered our congratulations and prayers — Ready to receive blessings from the villagers and family. The vessel on the left held water--this we drizzled over their hands as we offered our congratulations and prayers

After the blessing, we were invited to share a bit of lunch, and after a visit to the baby pigs (Tak’s family is pig farmers), we took the vans back to the hotel for a bit of a rest. Evening festivities would begin again about 6 pm.

The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom visiting the piglets